Sunday, March 30, 2014

Breezy Bottom

Brene Brown said "Courage is defined by the act of allowing others to see who you for who you really are. It is the act of allowing yourself to be seen by others." It was a warm summer Saturday in July. I woke up early to put down a 12 mile run through the beautiful vineyards, and farmland that dominate the landscape of the Willamette Vally. My route included fields of flowers, a glorious vista of the coastal range and the sun rising over the cascades. The glory of such a sunrise can make an Atheist stop and reconsider the existence and majesty of God. One of the things I love most about running is that it allows you to enjoy such beauty at a pace that speed often diminishes. After my run, I jumped in the shower and I wash off the paste that one's sweat and road dust create. Afterwards I walked into my closet to pick out my wardrobe for the day. Typically picking out my wardrobe is a simple affair. My usual Saturday attire consists of an old running race shirt,and a pair of khaki shorts.After several months of working out my waist line was getting smaller and my shorts were getting far to big. I have a very unhealthy habit of yearly taking on the nature of a bear getting ready for hibernation and I put on several extra pounds during the winter months.When Spring comes I issue an all out assault on my flabber hammock. Such a lifestyle requires two sets of clothing. With joy I pulled out a pair of my skinny khaki shorts and slipped them on with smug satisfaction. I thought to myself "skinny khaki short guy, yeah me." Today I needed to do some shopping at Target and then Erik Williams and I were going to play disc golf. Feeling superior about my amazing run and my new skinny khaki short guy status I jumped into my 1997 Saturn sedan and headed to Target. I had time to spare before I needed to pick up Erik so I spent about a half hour shopping at a very busy Target shopping center.Next I drove to my friend Erik's house to pick him up. Erik and I have been doing life together for many years. He is as the Bible says "a friend that is closer then a brother." His oldest daughter Kynzi is now a beautiful young teenager. I have known Kyzni her whole life. We often do holidays together and she and my daughter are fast friends. I knock on the door and Kynzi's warm sunny personality welcomes me to their home. I give Kynzi a hug and then Kynzi's warm sunny personality and my feeling superiority about my amazing run and my new skinny khaki short guy status come to their evil demise. In a horrified tone Kynzi says"Ah Stevie, did you know you have a rip in your shorts?" I know Kynzi as a truthful child however she does like playing a practical joke now and then. In my mind I'm thinking that this is either a small rip or a joke. I tactfully reach my hand to what I believed would be a small tear or a joke and I pulled back with the horror of knowing Kenzi is more truthful then she is a practical joker. The rip in my skinny khakis was far more then a rip. It was more like an obscene abyss of embarrassment. This tare was something that a grown man could be arrested for. I'm quite certain that this hole was larger than an emergency exit on a school bus. My feeling of skinny khaki accomplishment was mistaken for my feeling of refreshing booty air conditioning. Besides the fact that poor Kynzi is now going to need years of therapy and that the customers at Target were exposed to my risque fashion statement,is that this rude discovery was realized in front of Erik! Plus I was wearing old tighty- whities. Fifty percent of Erik and I's relationship is based on shameless mocking. This may sound strange and cruel to most females, however to men this is part of the male love language. This rip would serve as a mocker's dream come true and it will provide mocking footer for many a moon (pun intended). With the the little dignity that remained I asked for a pair of shorts from Erik, however my question was drowned out by Erik's laughter and Kynzi shouting " Oh my eyes oh my eyes" On my way to change out of my skinny air conditioned khakis Erik snapped a horrifying picture with his not so smart phone,(Lord please smite Erik's phone)
Stevey wonders if this is what Brene Brown meant when she said "Courage is defined by the act of allowing others to see who you for who you really are. It is the act of allowing yourself to be seen by others." or if I unintentionally created a new rage in air conditioned fashion, "Butt Flaps"

1 comment:

Erik Williams said...

Oh the joy of being reminded of that day. One that I will NEVER forget and unfortunately one my daughter won't either. Poor thing.